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Because I Said So!
Season Two Coming in September!
Because I Said So! is a podcast by John Rosemond. John is the nation’s leading parenting expert and provides common-sense advice for raising your children. John is a nationally syndicated columnist, author and public speaker. His audiences are left feeling empowered, educated and entertained.
A family psychologist by license, John points out to all his audiences that “psychology has caused more problems than it has solved for American parents.” John’s mission is to be a counter-weight to the psychological parenting paradigm that was sold to America in the late 1960s/early 1970s, restore commonsense to the raising of children, and give parents the guidance needed to raise happy, well-mannered children who will, as adults, contribute value to culture and society.
Because I Said So!
What, Exactly, Is "Good Mental Health"?
What if the mainstream narrative about mental health is all wrong? Join me as I challenge the conventional wisdom that conditions like depression and anxiety are biological malfunctions. In this eye-opening episode, we dig into the financial motivations behind these misconceptions and explore how emotional states can become deeply ingrained habits. Through candid conversations with psychiatrists, I reveal why understanding the origins of these emotional states might not be as crucial as recognizing them as changeable habits.
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You Got Yourself's Children Driving you crazy. They're keeping you up all night long. You better turn on your radio Dial up to John Goldman's show, because I said so. Well, hello there and welcome back. I'm John Rosemond, and this is Because I Said so, the only podcast on the entire worldwide web where you're going to hear the truth about psychology and what is today called parenting, which used to be called pretty much nothing, called parenting, which used to be called pretty much nothing. The oh yeah, forgot to tell you JohnRosemondcom. Parentgurucom Substackcom. Weekly Substack essay.
Speaker 1:What else can I tell you? Married 56 years to the same woman. Got married when I was 20. She was 19. How about that? We have two kids. One is 55. That's Eric. He's an international corporate pilot. Amy, she works for the Charlotte North Carolina Autism Foundation and she also works for me.
Speaker 1:And um, willie, willie, w-i-l-l-i-e knee. Wilma is my wife. I changed her name to Willie because I watched the Flintstones when I was growing up. When she told me her name was Wilma, I had already decided I was going to try and persuade her to marry me, and I told her right then. And there I said I can't marry Wilma. I'm changing your name to Willie, anyway, on my website, substack, et cetera, et cetera, you'll find out more about me and my ministry to families misinformed and misguided by America's mental health professionals since the late 1960s, which is why we are having here in America such difficulty raising children, which used to be just a matter of fact, every day, straightforward, you know, occasional bump in the road kind of thing and today it is the most stressful, difficult thing a woman will ever do in her life. And what a shame. So the question we today is do we here in America have a child, teen and young adult mental health crisis? There's a good amount of internet chatter concerning this matter. Some pundits saying yes, we do, some saying no, we don't. So do we or don't we? And hopefully we will answer that question for you definitively today.
Speaker 1:First, let's define good mental health. In that regard, it's important to understand that good mental health is not the opposite of mental illness. Now, I may surprise you, but the reason for that is because there's no such thing as mental illness. There are states of mental distress of one sort or another depression, anxiety, etc, etc. But there is no such thing as mental illness. The term was pulled out of thin air some time back by the mental health professions for the purpose of selling people on therapy and drugs drugs primarily.
Speaker 1:The lie, and they know it's a lie. I've talked to psychiatrists who tell me oh yeah, we all know it's a lie, but our standard of living depends on it, so we just keep on lying. I mean really and truly. I've talked to psychiatrists who have told me that directly, face to face. And the lie goes like this Depression, anxiety and other distressful mental and emotional states are caused by malfunctions, disturbances, aberrations, whatever you want to call them in a person's biology.
Speaker 1:Aberrations, whatever you want to call them, in a person's biology. These various malfunctions, aberrations, go by various names brain differences, biochemical imbalances, inherited genetic aberrations and so on. And I'm continuing the lie here. Since distressful mental and emotional states originate in a person's biology, they are really no different from physical illnesses like diabetes and leukemia. Therefore, like diabetes and leukemia, they can and should be treated with certain drugs.
Speaker 1:The problem with that, the reason it's a lie, is that no one and hear me very clearly, no one, not a soul, living or dead has ever produced incontrovertible proof that depression, anxiety and various forms of delusionary thinking, what is called bipolar disorder and so on, are caused by malfunctions in a person's biology, in a person's biology. Therefore, those mental and emotional states are not illnesses, because illnesses are malfunctions in a person's thinking and emotions and they exist depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, whatever. They are not diseases, they are simply states. So good mental health is not the opposite of mental illness, but feeling good, what is called good mental health, is definitely the opposite of feeling bad. Another thing to understand is that some people seem to prefer feeling bad. You would think everyone wants to feel good, but as it turns out, that isn't the case. Some people prefer to be victims. Everyone knows someone like that. The people in question want the attention and sympathy other people give them when they play the victim.
Speaker 1:The third thing you need to understand is that if, say, chronic depression is not a biological state, as mental health professionals, without any confirming evidence whatsoever, claim it is, then what is it Good question? The answer to which is chronic depression, like any other chronic mental or emotional state, is a habit that formed sometime in the chronically depressed person's life. Why did the person form the habit of feeling depressed? Who knows? Furthermore, it's not important to answer that question. It's not important to go back into their childhood and ask them about their parents and all this stuff that mental health professionals do.
Speaker 1:And, by the way, folks, up until this month I was a psychologist. I was probably the most controversial psychologist in America. In America, the month that you're hearing this October, maybe November that you're hearing this of 2024 is the month I retired my license at the age of 76, almost 77. I retired it in good standing and, by the way, the fact that it was in good standing is verified by the fact that my licensing board told me that, since I was retiring it in good standing, that I can have it back anytime I want. I might have to jump through a couple of hoops, but they're not fiery hoops and I'm not going to ask for it back. But what I want to tell you is, for 45 years I was a professional psychologist a renegade psychologist, for sure, but a psychologist. I was in private practice and then I retired from private practice around 1990 in order to do nothing but write and speak publicly. But I am a psychologist.
Speaker 1:So when I talk about the mental health professions, I want you to understand. I absolutely know what I'm talking about. Why would a person form the habit of feeling depressed? Who knows? Furthermore, it's not important to answer that question. Mental health professionals waste people's money trying to answer that question. What's important is that the person who is depressed chronically understand he is responsible for his depression and can therefore learn to control it, if not defeat it altogether. You see, the mental health professional lie that distressful mental health states originate in a person's biology deprive the person of the truth that he is responsible for those distressful emotional states and can therefore learn to control them.
Speaker 1:Ironically, a good number of depressed, anxious and otherwise emotionally distressed persons don't want to hear they are responsible for their mental and emotional distress, that, whatever their distress, it's a habitual response to certain life conditions they can learn to control. They don't want to hear that. They would rather think they aren't responsible. They would rather believe in the mental health professional lie. They would rather believe they can't control it and are therefore victims. That is a rather odd set of beliefs, don't you think? But again, we all know someone who thinks that way. You know, oh, john, I have bipolar disorder and I can't make it through the day without my lithium. Well, you can. You have to learn proper coping strategies. But if you dedicate yourself to learning those proper coping strategies, you can get along without your lithium.
Speaker 1:Have you people figured out yet that human beings are the only species in God's creation, the only species in God's creation that are capable of acting against their best interests? Birds don't act against their best interests. Mammals don't act against their best interests. Fish don't act against their best interests, only humans, only humans, act against their best interests and do not want to accept that they are responsible for their own mental health. And that's pretty much what being sinful is all about. As a matter of fact, acting against your best interests and the best interests of other people and not wanting to accept that we are responsible for our mental states is pretty much what being sinful is all about. And with that, because our question today, I'll remind you, is do we have a child, teen and young person mental health crisis in America?
Speaker 1:So let's define good mental health Quite simply. Good mental health rests upon three things. Are you taking notes? First, good mental health rests upon a proper self-image. Now, let's be very clear. I'm not using the term self-image as a synonym for self-esteem. In fact, a person with high self-esteem, a high opinion of himself, does not have a proper self-image. The Bible tells us, in fact, and in fact Jesus himself tells us that high self-esteem is a sinful state is a sinful state.
Speaker 1:A proper self-image involves a realistic appraisal of oneself. And a realistic appraisal of oneself involves accepting the fact that one is a habitual sinner not worthy of esteem, much less salvation. That doesn't mean you beat yourself up constantly, because accepting that you're a habitual sinner does not require that you feel miserable about yourself. It simply means that you realize, no matter how much you try to overcome your sin nature, you can't. To overcome your sin nature, you can't Not on your own. That is, overcoming your sin nature requires and you know you cannot do that completely, but you can overcome it to a very, very functional degree requires realizing that your salvation depends not on you but on Christ Jesus, who paid the price for your sins. And so proper self-image involves not feelings of self-esteem or overwhelming guilt, but feelings of gratitude and humility, that you see your purpose as that of serving others, as opposed to seeing your purpose in life as that of acquiring things, of storing up as much earthly treasure as you can, of impressing people, of accomplishing great things.
Speaker 1:Having a proper self-image involves understanding that we are created in God's image and that we are called, as Christians to reflect that holy image as well as we can, given our limitations, into the world. So that's the first, in a nutshell, attribute of good mental health a proper self-image that you are able and do put yourself in a correct perspective. And, by the way, the fact that one claims to be a dedicated Bible-believing Christian does not mean that person possesses a proper self-image, because being a Christian does not mean you are incapable of self-deception. Okay, the second attribute of a person with good mental health is a proper worldview. First attribute proper self-view. Second attribute a proper worldview.
Speaker 1:But make no mistake, it's impossible to have a proper worldview until you possess a proper view of yourself, a proper self-view. An improper, mistaken and therefore self-deceptive view of yourself will distort your worldview. Another way of saying this to see the world clearly, your eyes have to be clear. That means you have to get rid of the idols in your life, whatever they are money, possessions, fame, fortune Because idols, no matter what they are, they block your vision and, make no mistake about it, for most of us, idol number one is the almighty me.
Speaker 1:There is but one proper worldview and that is a biblical worldview. A proper biblical worldview begins with the fact that God created the universe out of absolutely nothing. He truly created the universe that he reigns supreme over everything he created. His sovereignty extends to the subatomic level, down to quarks and muons, which is why Jesus, god incarnate, could walk on water, transform water into Chateau Lafitte Rothschild, walk through walls and raise himself to life from a state of complete biological death.
Speaker 1:A proper biblical worldview involves understanding that at the very beginning of human history, biblical worldview involves understanding that at the very beginning of human history, humanity fell into a state of sin by defying God's authority, by betraying God, that all of human history from that point has been the story of our redemption through Jesus's voluntary sacrifice on the cross. Through his sacrifice, through his atonement on our behalf, he offers us salvation. Are you going to take it? So? Proper worldview requires understanding Jesus has paid the price for your sins and that the eventual defeat of the powers of darkness and the restoration of our heavenly home involves trusting in the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul and depending not on your own understanding, of course, those of you who are biblically literate recognize Proverbs 3. The eventual defeat powers of darkness and the restoration of our heavenly home requires trusting in the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul, and depending not on your own understanding, proverbs 3.5.
Speaker 1:The third oh, by the way, before I leave this, very interesting. A Barna poll recently found that people with a biblical worldview are, without a doubt, the happiest people on earth. What I'm telling you? Research has confirmed it. A proper biblical worldview produces good mental health. Isn't that fascinating? But, of course, if you're a believer, it really shouldn't surprise you at all, because if you're an authentic believer, then you're happier every day of your life than you were the day before. The third attribute of a person with good mental health I'm sort of doing this as an outline so that you know you guys who are taking notes can do that easily.
Speaker 1:The third attribute of a person with good mental health is what's called emotional resilience, the ability to withstand loss, disappointment, deprivation, defeat, failure, frustration and keep moving forward, chin up To develop what could be called, using a medical analogy, resistance to loss, disappointment, deprivation, defeat, failure and frustration. One must be exposed to and experience those very things. That's how one develops resistance to, say, a certain infectious bacteria. One is exposed to it and through exposure, through the experience of exposure and the experience of infection, you develop resistance to the infectious bacteria. In the same way, you develop resistance to loss, disappointment, etc. By being exposed to it and experiencing those very things.
Speaker 1:If someone else acting as an enabler and almost always people who are enablers are enablers with the best of intention, they are enabling unwittingly, but that doesn't excuse what they're doing. If a person who acts as an enabler prevents another person from experiencing and the other person for our purposes is a child, if someone else acting as an enabler prevents a child from experiencing loss, disappointment, no-transcript, he'll never develop the ability to bounce back from negative experiences, to learn from them and press on, keep moving forward. The other thing to consider here is that the more functional, the more correct one's self-view and one's world view, the more emotionally resilient person will be. So these three attributes of good mental health they build upon one another a proper self view and then built upon that, a proper worldview and then built upon that emotional resilience. So let me make this perfectly clear Having good mental health means you do not wallow in depression or anxiety.
Speaker 1:Wallow, john, yes, wallow. I'll get back to that in a second, so stay with me. But a person can have bad mental health and not be depressed or anxious. The presence of depression and anxiety is indication for sure of bad mental health. But from a biblical perspective, the fact that a person doesn't struggle or wallow in depression or anxiety doesn't mean the person has good mental health, not in and of itself, for example.
Speaker 1:I hope he's listening, I hope he recognizes himself if he is listening. I know a person, a male, who brags constantly at every possible opportunity, about all the great things he's acquired, experienced and done. Opportunity, about all the great things he's acquired, experienced and done. If you tell him a story about some wonderful event in your life, he's compelled to tell you an even more wonderful event in his. He doesn't know. He's bragging. Bragging has become such a habit to this person that he's not even aware of it. He's a committed Christian and I don't doubt his salvation.
Speaker 1:But does he have good mental health? No, is he depressed or anxious on a regular basis? No, on the surface he seems well put together, but I would maintain he does not have a proper view of himself, a proper self-view. Therefore he does not have a proper worldview. Therefore he does not have good mental health. But if you ask him, he's sitting on top of the world, which, according to him, is where he belongs, which, according to him, is where he belongs From a biblical perspective. Bad mental health can wear a smile and swagger into a room. So let me circle back to the term wallow. I said a moment ago that people wallow in depression and anxiety. By depression if you're depressed or anxious, not by depression by definition. If you're depressed or anxious, you are wallowing.
Speaker 1:My pastor and I have talked about this. We agree he's a very biblically, theologically literate guy. I'm trained as a psychologist. We agree that depression and anxiety are forms of self-absorption, of preoccupation with one's self and one's troubles, and furthermore, depression and anxiety are indications that the person in question is not trusting in the Lord but is depending on his or her own understanding and the understandings of other people. Mental health professionals who, by the way, represent the most atheistic profession in this country Not arguable, that has been validated by research Mental health professionals represent the most atheistic profession in this country.
Speaker 1:I'm taking off, you know, down a little rabbit hole here, but this is why I say to Christians you should not get involved with people in the mental health professions and don't be fooled by the term Christian psychologist. All that means is the person is a psychologist who happens to go to church. That term is simply a means of marketing yourself to another demographic. That's all, simply a means of marketing yourself to another demographic, that's all. Anyway, my pastor and I agree that depression and anxiety are forms of self-absorption, a preoccupation with one's troubles and therefore indication that the person in question is not trusting in the Lord. Furthermore, because they're not trusting fully in the Lord, they believe in self-reliance, which is an illusion, and when reality slaps their illusion of self-reliance right across the chop, when they aren't able to figure it all out, solve every personal problem that comes up. They're likely to become depressed or anxious, or both.
Speaker 1:I know people who are periodically depressed and anxious have been told by mental health professionals they have biochemical imbalances and the like. Trust me, folks, america's premier renegade psychologist, that stuff has never been proven. It is a and I will debate any psychologist. I will debate any 50 psychologists all at once concerning this issue. The idea that people who are periodically depressed and are anxious have biochemical imbalances is an out and out lie that robs people of their right to personal responsibility and persuades them to enter into codependent relationships with therapists and big pharma. If you're periodically depressed and anxious, you need some competent biblical counseling. The counselor, who's not going to pull any punches with you.
Speaker 1:So back to our initial question do today's young people have, generally speaking and relative to young people who've gone before them have, bad mental health? Absolutely, absolutely mental health, absolutely Absolutely From the perspective that I've just described, which is a biblical perspective as opposed to a secular, psychological one. I think a disproportionate number of today's young people do indeed carry around bad mental health. When I was in high school, no one was seeing a therapist, no one was taking psychiatric drugs. Today, in any given high school you know a high school of 500 kids Probably 200 are seeing therapists and taking medication. I mean, this is a scandal, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1:The mental health of two generations of children has been compromised by the myth of self-esteem, the toxic, even satanic idea that the brass ring of life is having a high opinion of yourself. As a consequence, large numbers of young people don't possess a proper self-view. They don't possess a proper self-view, a proper worldview. They lack humility, they lack a service ethic, they lack respect for others. At strike one, it gets their mental health.
Speaker 1:Second, large numbers of young people have not been discipled properly and that applies to Christian young people as well as non-Christian young people Goes without saying. Non-christian young people do not possess a proper worldview. They possess a secular, humanist, darwinist worldview. But it's also true that many Christian young people have been failed in this regard by both their parents and the leadership in their churches. They have not been discipled properly. Their youth groups have been nothing more than social groups overseen by youth pastors whose primary objective is to be light, pastors whose primary objective is to be light. And these kids' parents have left their discipling up to the same church leadership, which is why so many young people who've been raised in Christian homes abandon their faith, which was shallow to begin with, and they go off to college and begin ingesting leftist propaganda dispensed by misguided, toxic leftist professors.
Speaker 1:So strike two against the mental health of America's young people. They don't possess a proper worldview. And strike three is it because two generations of parents have done more enabling than parenting? Because two generations of parents, instead of making their kids lie in the beds they make, stew in their own juices and fight their own battle, have lain in the beds their children have made, have stewed in their children's juices and fought every single one of their children's battles. Their kids are lacking in emotional resilience. The state of affairs is bad for the children in question, for sure, but it's also bad for the future of America.
Speaker 1:America needs a sturdy, patriotic citizenship who is committed to family values. It's what Donald Trump is trying, in his own stumbling, bumbling, often just incoherent way, to bring us all back to often just incoherent way to bring us all back to. I'm sure you've noticed that he's under more attack than any other president in recent history, maybe than any other president ever. He may not be the model of an ideal Christian man, but it is obvious nonetheless that Satan doesn't like him and doesn't like what he's doing. Not one bit, not at all, and that's why I'm voting for him.
Speaker 1:And that, folks, is a wrap. Thanks for joining me, john Roseman, because I said so. I'm going to try and do this once a week. I've got a lot on my plate, but I'm going to try and do this once a week. I've got a lot on my plate, but I'm going to try and do this once a week, and so please check back with me and see if there's a new podcast every once in a while, and God bless you all and God bless your families and have a great day. Bye.
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